Posts Tagged ‘Self Care’

Are you Burned Out?

If you can no longer remember what compelled you to become a caregiver, you just might have caregiver burnout! Remember, you cannot care for anyone if you do not first care for yourself. There is nothing wrong with asking for help from family, friends or agencies that can provide respite care. Be strong enough to take care of the caregiver.

If you answer yes to these questions, it may be time for you to take a break or re-evaluate your situation. Don’t smolder and burn until you explode.

  • Has it been more than two months since you’ve had a weekend to yourself to do whatever you wanted, even if that was to do nothing?
  • Have you cried for what seems to be “no reason at all” in the past week?
  • Have you neglected your own medical needs since you started caregiving?
  • Has it been more than a year since you visited your dentist or found a new one if you moved to start providing care?
  • Do you feel tired and listless most of the time?
  • Have you abandoned beloved hobbies due to lack of time or interest?
  • Are you more easily angered or upset than you used to be?
  • Is your fuse shorter than before you were a caregiver?
  • Has your patience decreased?
  • Do you think you will never have fun again?
  • Have you considered self-medication for depression or anxiety without consulting a physician?

Before any more time passes, seek help.

  • Ask a family member to visit more often and when they visit, if you can’t leave for long, take a walk outdoors. Enjoy the fresh air by yourself a few moments.
  • Invite one of your friends and one of your loved one’s friends over for lunch or dinner. Socialization is important for both of you.
  • If you have no local friends or family, check into agencies that provide respite care so you can take care of your own medical and dental needs.
  • Get a massage, pedicure, facial or manicure. If you can’t afford these, find a friend who will listen and give you a simple backrub.
  • Visit a nursing home, alone or with the one in your care, to gain perspective.
  • Practice gratitude. Think of one thing about your situation for which you are grateful. Every day, add to your list.

Question from a reader

My father has Parkinson’s and my brother was his caregiver for years but he said he’s burned out and I need to take over as Dad’s caregiver. How can I avoid burning out like my brother did?

You must remember that if you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot care for your father. It is vital that you take some time every single day for yourself to prepare each morning and unwind in the evening. It’s not selfish. It’s part of healthy caregiving. Seek out other caregivers to talk to. Get into the habit of regular caregiver texts, phone calls and social meetings for lunch or coffee. Set up a schedule for time away each week, then reward yourself with a weekend away at least once a month. Take a daily walk, alone, if you can. Breathe deeply and purposefully. Nurture your hobby or start a new one. Stay connected to you friends and call on your brother for helpful advice. Find out what worked and what didn’t work for him and remember: this is not permanent.
Caution

Make Self Care a Priority

HANCs – those people who call themselves housekeepers, activity directors, nutritionists and companions – may actually fantasize about the hour their roles as care givers will end.

ClockNo matter how difficult the path you are on, once your need to provide care comes to an end, know that your life will forever be changed. Many who ensure a better quality of life for others suffer long-term health problems, especially if they did not have a sufficient support team in place to help provide proper respite and long enough breaks for the care giver.

running out of timeIt’s not that care givers want to do everything themselves or that we are claiming our territories or that we feel no one else is capable of providing the level of care our loved ones have come to expect. We do not wish to impose on our friends and family members, despite their reminders to, “Call me if I can help.” Sometimes,  arranging a break seems to cause more work than relief and when your phone rings with question after question, while you are trying to relax, it’s often easier to just cut your losses and return to handle whatever crisis caused the confusion.Time blurs when you're having funTime and death wait for no one. While you are planning to take a break, some day in the future, your loved one could pass away or your own health might be compromised. Don’t wait to plan your breaks tomorrow. Find the help you need, today! Stop relying on those who promise to do better and have great intentions.

Five o 5Remember: most people work five days a week for eight to ten hours, then take two days to recuperate, run personal errands, relax and rest. They often get a full week’s vacation (or more) from their jobs and some receive pay for that week off. Professional care givers – whether in nursing home, assisted living facilities, or in-home providers –  typically work in three shifts, each no more than  eight hours each. They do not work 24 hours, seven days a week, 365 days a year – with only occasional, sporadic breaks and often no compensation. They do not sacrifice their personal lives in the same ways.

Time

Take time for yourself. Take a break. Take more than one. If you do not take the necessary time to care for yourself, no one else will step in to volunteer, despite their best intentions. Don’t wait until it’s too late or you find yourself unable to provide care because you are in the midst of a personal crisis. Care enough for yourself to make this a priority.

It is that important.

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